JOINTLY PAY THE PRICE IN A MARRIAGE

 


By Rev Michael Benson Ajayi 

"Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before.  Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others. " 1 Thessalonians 4:12

  A research was carried out by a British magazine on the effect of children on marriages and it was  discovered couples tend to spend less time together where there are many children  "When we had just the two little ones we got regular time alone as a couple – my mum gladly took the boys together but it’s really hard to ask anyone to have three kids for the weekend." Metro.co .uk

  This is one of the effect of a growing family.. Having a small family is not a guarantee for success in a marriage neither is having a large family. However couples have to be prepared for the liabilities that comes with being married especially having a growing family . 

  Ancient African culture was predominantly agrarian and our ancestors had large families proportionate to the size of their estates and businesses. They made preparations for provisions before bringing in a new wife. Each wife was entitled to as many farmlands as she could cultivate and were encouraged to go into other businesses too. This ensured abundance of provisions . I witnessed this in my maternal village abua in Rivers state Nigeria in the 70:s . There was mutual understanding between the wives and harmony despite the large family 

      There was respect for each other. Being less dependent on others brings respect (1Thes4:11) in a marriage.

   Modernization has resulted in many Africans migrating  to cities . For fear of infidelity a lot of men prevent their wives from being gainfully employed . Some have relegated their wives to taking care of the children and the home. This has its advantages and disadvantages. A major disadvantage is in the event of unexpected job loss , sickness , divorce or death of spouse , such women find it hard to stand on their own  . 

   Where Christian discipline is at the front burner of family affairs couples should not be afraid to contribute to the spiritual ,emotional and financial welfare of the family. The internet has made it easier for couples to work from home and make meaningful contributions to the family . With work or and business comes respect in a relationship. 

    The lack of these key ingredients is a major reason for the increase in singles in the church. Having a job and living above your means is as good as not having a job or business. Most godly persons with  legitimate  sources of income would not want to be engaged to any person living above their means to avoid the pains of infidelity .  Godliness and contentment is of great reward in a relationship. 

   A single has a greater chance at a long lasting relationship if they can prove they will not become an emotional  , spiritual and financial burden to their partner .The bible says  "In that day so few men will be left that seven women will fight for each man, saying, “Let us all marry you! We will provide our own food and clothing. Only let us take your name so we won’t be mocked as old maids.” Isaiah 4:1

Prayer: Heavenly father forgive me of my sins against you I believe Jesus Christ died and was raised again for my salvation I receive as lord and saviour and receive the Holy Spirit and wisdom for excellence in my relationship.

+2348025536911 +2348098536911  e-mail michaelbensonajayi@gmail.com 


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