PURPOSEFUL MARRIAGE

 By Rev Michael Benson Ajayi 

   " And my master made me take an oath. He said, ‘Do not allow my son to marry one of these local Canaanite women. He responded, ‘The Lord , in whose presence I have lived, will send his angel with you and will make your mission successful. Yes, you must find a wife for my son from among my relatives, from my father’s family."  Genesis 24:37‭, ‬40 NLT

  " If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?” Esther 4:14 NLT

    Biblical marriages are contracted based on  the fulfilment of a divine purpose. God's will is that through marriages there would be a propagation of his kingdom on earth . 

     Queen Esther was raised by Mordecai with the purpose of being a deliverer of the Jewish nation who were threatened with extermination , Isaac was the product of prophesy through whom the Messiah was to come and it required preserving the prophetic bloodline . The Canaanites where known for polytheism and a culture that involved sacrificing children as burnt offering . 

    Marriage was contracted based on one's purpose and this requires 1) understanding 2) wisdom and 3) joy (Ecc2:26)These were the guiding principles to selecting a spouse by the patriarchs . As a teacher I needed someone who loves teachers of the word and prayerfully creates the environment for research by the Holy Ghost that's what the Lord gave me.  

   Love is the reward of a spouse demonstrating a sense of wisdom , understanding with joy .  The patriarchs and ancestors understood love was a reward , therefore, it was not necessarily the motivating factor to engage in a relationship . Love comes and goes like river tides . You may not love a person today but love  tomorrow . Marriage for Purpose is more powerful than for love.

  In relationships love comes and goes , it is normal to feel that way . There is a time to love and a time to hate in a relationship. The bible says " A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace. " Ecclesiastes 3:8 NLT . You are to love your spouse unconditionally but hate actions that they take that veers off their divine purpose. 

Therefore, its a case of saying ' I love you but I hate what you are doing because it is against God's purpose for our lives ". At such moment do not expect a friendly attitude from the aggrieved spouse. 

   When a person seeks knowledge, wisdom understanding and joy  in a relationship its easier to survive trying times . For instance by understanding we know that trying times are intended to strengthen family bonds. There are less distractions and value is added to resources . We pray more.

    Through knowledge , we know children are an expression of our strength and weaknesses therefore, should be loved regardless of the circumstance. Wisdom teaches spouses to complement and not compete with each other and we are imperfect persons daily seeking God's help to perfect our union .  

   Wisdom teaches that each spouse is a financial  institution  and financial matters should be handled like investment bankers and money should not be the source of our joy. 

 Understanding teaches that outside procreation, sexual matters should be sacred (Heb13:4), free of guilt and guided by the Holy Spirit and should be discussed regularly, improved upon for the mutual pleasure of couples. 

You must have a marriage mentor - someone you could visit or call regularly to succeed in marriage .

   Prayer: Heavenly father forgive me of my sins against you I believe Jesus Christ died and was raised again for my salvation I receive him as lord and saviour and receive the holy spirit and power for a healthy love relationship. 

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