HOW TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF INADEQUACY AND LONELINESS

By Rev. Michael Benson Ajayi.

   John 16:32 NKJV "Indeed the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me."
             Loneliness is a state of the mind founded on negative emotions, it is a sense of isolation or exclusion from the company of others and a feeling of rejection and abandonment which may be real or imagined. Most times, it is imagined and is as a result of receiving and believing evil reports . Everybody goes through loneliness ;it is our response to this feeling of being left out that is of relevance.
             Jesus was no stranger to abandonment but wasn't overcome by it. We are gregarious by nature and struggle with identity crisis while seeking to fit into our social group ,therefore ,it isn't out of place to feel a disconnect when those physical qualities needed to properly fit into society are perceived as being absent. This is often imaginary than real. The scriptures says the born again christian is complete in Christ ( Col2:10) , therefore there is no need to feel inadequate : the fact that certain desired qualities are yet to manifest in our lives doesn't mean they aren't present. In reality, we are never alone, we have the Father with us and He never leaves nor forsake us. He is our ever present help in the time of trouble. With this consciousness , the period of being left out should rather be a time to bond with the Father through His word.
              The lord feels our pains in our time of loneliness and confidence in his provisions should give us the desired peace of mind. King David despite his wealth suffered loss of friends after being deposed from his throne. He also battled with loneliness; Psalm 38:15 says." For in thee, O Lord, do I hope: thou wilt hear, O Lord my God" an acknowledgement of his closeness to God and resolve to depend on Him for sustenance. The fear of what others say about our circumstances is a challenge we must overcome considering the fact that God will not allow the enemy rejoice over us.
             The period of loneliness is also a period of self reevaluation; a time to ask the lord to show us the various aspects of our lives that needs change and seek His help (psalm38:16), every action taken leads to a corresponding reaction by our neighbours for or against us, therefore if the outcome is unpleasant, it is therefore indicative that we need a new manner of approach to life. It is illogical to think that one can keep doing the same thing and be receiving different outcome.
        Past hurts if left untreated could result in emotional damage leading to the development of an insensitive heart, this could result in one being abandoned. Therefore, loneliness becomes an indicator for the need to allow the lord heal our heart and through our experience many persons would be delivered . God is the Father of comforts, the scriptures say in II Corinthians 1:3-4 NKJV "Blessed .... the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." Our wealth of experience forms the components of the toolbox with which others shall be restored to the glory of God.
               The period of loneliness is also a period when we are most vulnerable emotionally, and prone to peer pressure and compromise on our faith as a result of the exaggeration of our situation by the enemy. David was at one time so disillusioned that he likened himself to a lonely sparrow on a roof top (Psalm 107:7) . It is against this backdrop that fellowship with matured believers is a must during trying times. Ecclesiastes.9:4 says "For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope: for a living dog is better than a dead lion."we receive restoration through their message of grace and testimonies .
             Sex is not a cure for loneliness,some married folks still yearn for companionship outside marriage.  . It is erroneous to think that sex cures loneliness, the opposite is the case, the scriptures say in 1 Corinthians 6:16-20 MSG "There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” It is the failure to ask for help that leads to loneliness ( James4:2) we must learn to think less about ourselves and more about others and take practical steps to establish wholesome friendships (Prov11:25,18:24) this will help us develop a bigger perspective on life keeping us too preoccupied and fruitful to be lonely . The person who's main concern is on how to spread the gospel of the kingdom and care for the needy has no time for loneliness . Receive peace as you read this now in Jesus name. +2348098536911,+2348035536911 Email. Michaelbensonajayi@gmail.com