CONFLICT RESOLUTION BETWEEN FAMILY MEMBERS.
By Rev Michael Benson Ajayi
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation."2 Corinthians 5:17, 19 NLTBible
The word 'reconciling' is the Greek word katallassō it means ' to receive one into favour ' . We were at loggerhead with God and through his grace in Jesus Christ he has received us into a place where we now enjoy his favour and expects we do likewise to each other.
This is achieved through a principle of conflict resolution of 'no longer counting people's sins against them ' the word counting is the Greek word 'logizomai' it means to reckon all the reasons ,to gather, to infer' . This means the ultimate target in seeking for reconciliation should not be seeking for all reasons for not seeking peace or reconciliation. There is never a winner in any conflict, we may win our case but lose a valuable relationship as a result of the conflict .
To resolve conflicts we should concentrate more on reasons or the advantages of living together than going our separate ways . We are more favoured together than separate .
Just as the various ingredients of a soup must come together to make a delicious meal, being separate would not bring the best out of us . Each argument in a conflict is important and must be considered in its merits while settling disputes.
Everyone must be given equal opportunity to express themselves . The bible says "Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish".Proverbs 18:13 NLT Bible.
There is always the tendency to be biased towards a member of the family usually the one considers as 'good' or to a community one belongs to. The believer in Jesus Christ is not to be biased towards anyone especially in cases that borders around territories , rights and privileges .
We must be cautious to listen to all parties involved before deciding who is wrong or right or who did what to whom .This requires a great deal of patience . We should never be in a haste to judge matters: this is important while seeking for ways to make corrective actions .
In there defence, people tend to exaggerate to influence justice and this should be well noted to avoid unjust discipline which further deepens resentment among family members or community. Take note of persons who blame themselves for taking certain actions this should be considered separately from those who twist facts .
It is important to let those involved to know that they are being recorded either by digital recording or written document this minimizes incidents of irregularities during the presentation of their cases.
"The first to speak in court sounds right— until the cross-examination begins."Proverbs 18:17 NLTBible .
We should put aside any personal grievances against any of the parties involved and seek to glorify God by the decision we finally arrive at . There is a reward for peace makers God blesses those who work for peace, . "God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God." Matthew 5:9 NLTBible
Prayer: Heavenly father forgive me of my sins against you I believe Jesus Christ died and was raised again for my salvation I receive him as Lord and saviour and receive the Holy Ghost and power to promote peace in the face of much opposition in Jesus name.
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